Teaching sex education in school

It wasn’t until I was ten years old when I was told by a school chum how babies were born. I found it hard to believe because the way he described it wasn’t exactly the way babies are born, notwithstanding that his version was fairly close to the truth.

I have asked myself many times as to why I had to wait until I was ten years of age before someone told me how babies were born.

Danielle Da Silva grew up in a religious Toronto home where sex was not discussed. She was about 12 when she and her friends discovered websites with graphic sexual images. Her response to what she saw is best described in her comment; “At first I was a little scared, but then I was curious.” She remembers being confused in grade school when kids talked about condoms in the schoolyard, and bigger kids passed along information about intercourse and masturbation.

I remember an incident in my life in 1951 when I was seventeen. I was living in Vancouver at that time and a movie theatre downtown (the Orpheum) was showing a documentary on how babies were born. From 1935 to 1969, the Orpheum was managed by Ivan Ackery, a born entertainer who reveled in transforming the everyday occurrences into the extraordinary so showing what appeared at that time to be a very contentious film that was well ahead of its time came as a shock to many Vancouverites. The ads in the newspapers said that nurses would be on hand in the theater while the documentary was being shown in case people began fainting at what they were seeing. Judging from the reaction of the people in the theatre while the documentary was being shown, many of them were in the dark (if you will pardon the pun) on this subject. Some people had to be given treatment by the nurses, they were so traumatized.

At no time when I was in school, was this subject ever discussed. And yet, when I joined the navy that year and talked with my fellow sailors, I didn’t meet anyone who didn’t know how babies were born. The reason is obvious. We learned how babies were born by our schoolmates. But is that an appropriate way to learn? I think not.
One way a Russian 14-year-old girl learned that secret was when she became pregnant and was about to give birth to her baby. Up until then, she had no idea as to how babies were created and later born. No one had ever told her; not her parents, her friends or her teachers. She simply couldn’t understand why her belly was expanding so quickly and why a baby was emerging from her vagina.

So when the province of Ontario in Canada announced a new health curriculum for next fall that would provide kids with sex education at earlier ages, I believe that many children were excited but at the same time, many of their parents were concerned. Premier Dalton McGuinty withdrew the curriculum following vehement opposition from several religious groups. Kids are bombarded daily with sexual topics and images. Hiding the issue (now there is a play on words) is not going to help at all.

Many supporters of the proposed curriculum believe that schools play an important part in teaching kids about sexual health and behaviour especially when many parents are hesitant to do so. My mother spoke to me when I was twelve about the birth of babies. We were both embarrassed but I assured her that I was well aware of how babies came about and that’s when the discussion ended, much to the relief of both of us.

While some opponents argue that schools should stay out of it, Alex McKay, research coordinator with the ‘Sex Information and Education Council of Canada’, says schools and parents have critical, but different roles to play. He said, “Trying to position the two in opposition is ‘a false dichotomy. There is no need for parents to feel threatened.”

Why should parents feel threatened? Sexual relations between two people is normal. It is not as if sex between consenting persons above sixteen years of age is legally taboo providing that one of the parties to the sex act is not a teacher, lawyer, doctor or employer while the other is a student, client, patient or employee.

McKay is quite correct when he says that families need to teach children values related to sexuality, expectations about behaviour and provide guidance on sexual matters and that schools need to deliver up-to-date facts that most parents don’t have at their fingertips on topics such as sexually-transmitted infections or contraception. He added that factual information provided in school can be a corrective to the false and distorted information they pick up from outside of school.

Research has found that more than 85 per cent of Canadian parents want schools to teach sexual and reproductive health, and youth cite it as a primary source of information. In many cases, sex education provides knowledge that some parents can’t or won’t discuss with their children.

Many students live in homes where sexuality is not to be discussed. In fact, some parents actually frown on schools teaching their children about puberty and body changes. I find that attitude rather foolish when you consider what our children see when they watch television. Are we to really believe that children of tender ages actually believe that when they are watching a movie on TV and they see a man on top of a woman in a movie while the couple is having sex in bed, the man and woman are simply wrestling with one another? Trust me when I say that the noises emanating in that scene are not the same as what you would hear when you watch a wrestling match.
Children are always looking for information. They are hard-wired to search for information. And when they reach puberty, they are confused about their body changes and sexual desires unless this has been previously explained to them. Many kids are exposed to sex on TV without supervision so this adds to their confusion.

The proposed new sex-ed guidelines were one small part of a 208-page curriculum on health and physical education that covers topics such as fitness, TV screen time, respecting diversity, and nutrition. Critics however strongly objected most strenuously to a few items: homosexuality being included in Grade 3 instruction, and references to vaginal lubrication in Grade 6 and anal sex in Grade 7.

Are we to believe that eight-year-olds don’t already know about gays and lesbians, that eleven-year-olds have no idea what the purpose of vaginal lubrication is in the sex act and that twelve-year-olds have not heard of anal sex? Give me a break.

Lyba Spring, a sexual health promoter with Toronto Public Health, says those kinds of topics are already being discussed by young students. She said that anal sex was to be introduced in the context of explaining infection transmission, and helping confused adolescents sort out what constitutes sexual activity.

She also said, “The notion some parents have of withholding information to shield kids is dangerous because we’re talking about prevention and protection against risky behaviour.” She added, “And more of it has to come earlier because puberty is starting sooner, as young as 8 or 9 for some girls.”

Shannon Boodram, 24, and author of Laid, a collection of essays by youth about their sexual experiences said, “The point of education is providing information before you need it.” Boodram has heard countless stories from kids who become sexually active too early and regretted it, kids who got infections following unprotected sex and who didn’t believe they could turn to adults for help. She says that when adults — either parents or educators — don’t talk openly about sexual health, kids don’t consider them credible sources of information or guidance.

Sex education is the process of acquiring information and forming attitudes and beliefs about sex, sexual identity, relationships and intimacy. Sex education is also about developing young people's skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices. It is widely accepted that young people have a right to sex education.

Sex education in schools is necessary because it is a means by which children are helped to protect themselves against abuse, exploitation, unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and HIV and AIDS. It can also be argued that providing sex education helps to meet young people’s rights to information about matters that affect them, their right to have their needs met and to help them enjoy their sexuality and the relationships that they form.

Because sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects, young people, their parents and sex educators can have strong views on what attitudes people should hold, and what moral framework should govern people's behaviour since these too can sometimes seem to be at odds.

Young people are very interested in the moral and cultural framework that binds sex and sexuality. They often welcome opportunities to talk about issues where people have strong views, like abortion, sex before marriage, lesbian and gay issues and contraception and birth control.

I think the problem that some people have about sex education being taught in schools is at what age of the students that form of education should be taught. One of Britain's top medical experts says children as young as five should be given sex education lessons when they start school. Dr. Charles Saunders of the British Medical Association says that if sex education is left until youngsters are 12; it is too late because some are already experimenting with other children.

He also says secondary schools should hand out condoms and other forms of contraception to older children. Dr. Saunders comments come amid fears that many teenagers are at risk because the safe sex message is being delivered too late.
I can appreciate his concerns because where he lives and works in Scotland and Scotland’s sexual health record is one of the poorest in the western world, with more than 9,000 teenage pregnancies recorded in 2005 alone.

While some people say that it is up to individual schools to decide when to begin sex education, the Catholic Church has described the proposal as pointless as sex education at five years old would be way over their heads and as pointless as giving them a talk on the effects of alcohol. I suppose that would depend on how the subject was taught.

One of my granddaughters who is currently four already knew that before her little brother was born, he was in her mother’s belly. She doesn’t know how he emerged from her belly as of yet but I am convinced that by the time she gets to kindergarten, she will learn it from other children of her own age. If she is to learn how her baby brother emerged from her mother, I would rather have her learn it from a teacher who teaches children that young than learn it from another five-year-old.

By age 2 or 3, most children establish a clear gender identity. Often, this understanding of being a boy or a girl is consistent with the child's observation of the differences in anatomically formed human bodies. As children learn to walk and talk, they also begin to learn about their bodies. Parents should open the door to sex education by teaching their children the proper names for their sex organs, perhaps during bath time. If a child points to a body part, he or she should be told what it is. This is also a good time to talk about which parts of the body are private. Forget teaching them about the birds and the bees. They will learn about the reproduction of birds and pollination of flowers by bees when they are studying biology in school.

Many toddlers express their natural sexual curiosity through self-stimulation. Boys may pull at their penises, and girls may rub their external genitalia. A child should be taught that masturbation is a normal function with human beings but at the same time, a private activity. If a child starts masturbating in public, the parent should try to distract him or her. If that fails, the child should be taken aside for a reminder about the importance of privacy.

All of this should be taught to the children by their parents before they go to school.

India has programs aimed at children aged nine to sixteen years. In Japan, sex education is mandatory from age 10 or 11, mainly restricted to biological topics such as menstruation and ejaculation. In China and Sri Lanka, sex education traditionally consists of reading the reproduction section of biology textbooks. In Sri Lanka they teach the children about sex when they are 17–18 years. In Finland, sexual education is usually incorporated into various obligatory courses, mainly as part of biology lessons (in lower grades) and in higher grades, a course related to general health issues. In England and Wales, sex education is not compulsory in schools if parents refuse to let their children take part in the lessons. As of last year, most children in schools in Britain do not receive sex education until they are aged 10 or 11 at the earliest. The curriculum focuses on the reproductive system, fetal development, and the physical and emotional changes of adolescence, while information about contraception and safe sex is discretionary. In a 2000 study by the University of Brighton, many 14 to 15 year olds reported disappointment with the content of sex education lessons and felt that lack of confidentiality prevents teenagers from asking teachers about contraception. In France, sex education has been part of school curricula since 1973. Schools are expected to provide 30 to 40 hours of sex education, and pass out condoms, to students in grades eight and nine.

In January 2000, the French government launched an information campaign on contraception with TV and radio spots and the distribution of five million leaflets on contraception to high school students. In Germany, sex education has been part of school curricula since 1970. Since 1992 sex education is by law, a governmental obligation. It normally covers all subjects concerning the growing-up process, body changes during puberty, emotions, the biological process of reproduction, sexual activity, partnership, homosexuality, unwanted pregnancies and the complications of abortion, the dangers of sexual violence, child abuse, and sex-transmitted diseases, but sometimes also things like sex positions. Most schools offer courses on the correct usage of contraception.

In the Western point of view, sex education in Poland has never actually developed. At the time of the People's Republic of Poland, since 1973, it was one of the school subjects; however, it was relatively poor and did not achieve any actual success. After 1989, it practically vanished from the school life - it is currently an exclusive subject called family life education rather than sex education in several schools and the student’s parents must give consent to the headmasters so their children may attend. It has much due to the strong objection against sex education of the Catholic Church; the most influential institution in Poland.

This gives you some idea as why I believe that the government of Ontario should not pay attention to the complaints of church organizations and church officials on this topic since they are the least qualified to speak about this subject, considering just how rampant the priests in the Catholic church were when it came to sexually abusing small children.

Subsidized by the Dutch government, the ‘Long Live Love’ package, developed in the late 1980s, aims to give teenagers in the Netherlands the skills to make their own decisions regarding health and sexuality. The main sex education programme in Scotland is Healthy Respect, which focuses not only on the biological aspects of reproduction but also on relationships and emotions. Education about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases are included in the programme as a way of encouraging good sexual health. In response to a refusal by Catholic schools to commit to the program, however, a separate sex education program has been developed for use in those schools. Funded by the Scottish Government, the programme 'Called to Love' focuses on encouraging children to delay sex until marriage, and does not cover contraception, and as such is a form of abstinence-only sex education. In Sweden, sex education has been a mandatory part of school education since 1956. The subject is usually started between ages 7 and 10, and continues up through the grades, incorporated into different subjects such as biology and history. In Switzerland, the content and amount of sex education is decided at the cantonal level. In Geneva, courses have been given at the secondary level since the 1950s. Interventions in primary schools were started more recently, with the objective of making children conscious of what is and isn't allowed, and able to say "No". In secondary schools (age 13-14), condoms are shown to all pupils, and are demonstrated by unfolding over the teacher's fingers. For this, classes are usually separated into girl-only and boy-only subgroups. Condoms are not distributed, however, except among older adolescents engaged in state-run non-compulsory education (age 16-17).

Almost all students in the United States receive some form of sex education at least once between grades 7 and 12; many schools begin addressing some topics as early as grades 5 or 6. However, what students learn varies widely, because curriculum decisions are so decentralized. Many states have laws governing what is taught in sex education classes or allowing parents to opt out. Some state laws leave curriculum decisions to individual school districts. For example, a 1999 study found that most U.S. sex education courses in grades 7 through 12 cover puberty, HIV, STIs, abstinence, implications of teenage pregnancy, and how to resist peer pressure. Other studied topics, such as methods of birth control and infection prevention, sexual orientation, sexual abuse, and factual and ethical information about abortion, varied more widely.

The 'Canadian Guidelines for Sexual Health Education' provides a detailed framework for the development of effective, broadly based and inclusive sexual health education in Canada. The Guidelines provide information to guide the efforts of professionals working in the area of sexual health education and promotion, including curriculum and program planners, policy makers, educators (in and out of school settings) and health care professionals.

As a result of multiple influences in our lives, sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and which encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. For this reason, sexuality is best understood as a complex, fluid and dynamic set of forces that are an integral aspect of an individual’s sense of identity, social well-being and personal health. To keep those facts hidden from our children until they are in their teens; is a mistake that can have serious repercussions later in their lives.

It is time for the government of Ontario to tell the religious bodies who are standing in the way of sex education in our schools to “Get out of our way and let us progress as a society well versed from an early age on the aspects of sexuality in human beings.”