Dictators  who  were  crazy  (Part 1)

 

I appreciate the fact that many of us are tempted to say that our leaders in our countries are crazy but in doing so, we are merely expressing an opinion in jest. But there have been dictators whose actions were so bizarre; one could only surmise that they really were out of their minds. Be thankful that most of the following dictators listed in this article were finally replaced.

 

Francois Duvalier—President of Haiti for Life

This man was also known as Papa Doc. He really was a medical doctor and his patients called him Papa Doc so the name stuck with him.  He also gave himself the title of President for Life of Haiti but his presidency ended in 1971 when he died of natural causes.

 

Among other things, Papa Doc claimed to be the Voodoo spirit of death, Baron Samedi. The Baron’s last name in English is Saturday. As well as being master of the dead, Baron Samedi is also a giver of life. He can cure any mortal of any disease or wound, if he thinks it is worthwhile. His powers are especially great when it comes to voodoo curses and black magic. I am not going to mock someone based on his religion.  There are probably many non-crazy Voodoo practitioners, just like others of any other faith.

 

After Papa Doc had a heart attack that plunged him into a nine-hour coma in 1959 and left him with massive brain damage, things began going downhill. He demanded that his temporary successor, Clement Barbot, be arrested, but when they couldn't find Barbot, Papa Doc's lackeys told him that they believed that Barbot had transformed into a large black dog. Naturally, Papa Doc ordered the deaths of all black dogs. Eventually Barbot was caught and executed and of course, Papa Doc kept Barbot’s head for Voodoo purposes.

In 1961, he ordered new elections despite the fact that his term of office wasn't up until 1963. The move completely confused everybody until the results of the election, which saw Papa Doc win with 100 percent of the votes. The votes tallied up to 1,320,748 votes to zero. What are the chances of any politician in the world winning an election with 100% of the voters voting for him? Latin America has witnessed many fraudulent elections, but none will have been more outrageous than the one which had taken place in Haiti in 1961.

 

Obviously he just wanted to make sure that everyone in Haiti understood that he just didn't care what they thought.  Now it isn’t unusual for leaders of a country to call an election before their term is up. They do it in hopes of getting a majority of members in their parliaments or congresses. But for a dictator who couldn’t care less about his people or his followers, Papa Doc calling an election ahead of the end of his term is rather strange. In fact, it is bizarre to say the least.

 

Under his leadership, corruption in Haiti was endemic as the elite get richer and the poor suffered badly. The per capita annual income sank to US$80, the lowest in the western hemisphere. The illiteracy rate remained at about 90%.

Before he died, he told the world that he alone was responsible for John F. Kennedy's assassination by way of a Voodoo curse. He even sent someone to Kennedy's grave to collect the air around it so he could use it in a spell to control Kennedy's soul.

 

Saparmurat Niyazov—President of Turkmenistan for Life

 

Niyazov seized power after the breakup of the Soviet Union, filling the vacuum left by Joseph Stalin and Vladimir Lenin. He elected himself as president of Turkmenistan and later promoted himself to the position as President for Life.                                                                                                  

 

Niyazov had a penchant for renaming things. He renamed the months of the year, with January named ‘Turkmenbashi’, which means Father of the Turkmen, a name he gave himself. He also changed the names of the days of the week to things like ‘Young Day’ and ‘Spirituality Day’.  ‘Twinkie Twin Day’ was presumably discussed but ultimately not selected. He also changed the word ‘bread’ to ‘Gurbansoltan’ which incidentally was the name of his mother, suggesting that one of his fantasies was to see his mother being eaten alive by poor people. Too bad he didn’t name the bread after himself. If he had, every time his people took a bite out of the bread, they would have gone into an ecstatic state of immense excitement.

 

Niyazov outlawed beards on men. Did he have total control of the shaving concession? He also prohibited makeup on television anchors, and lip-syncing in Turkmenistan.

 

To his credit, he also prohibited chewing tobacco and in lieu of tobacco, he suggested that people chew on bones, which he argued would strengthen their teeth.  By not chewing tobacco, it would certainly make their teeth whiter. However, if he had prohibited smoking, it would have saved many lives but not his own as the revolt would have resulted in his death if he wasn’t able to flee the country.

 

He also wrote a book called Ruhnama, which meant Book of the Soul. Students were required to study it in schools and mosques and his book had to be given equal respect as the Qu’ran or the offending schools and mosques would be demolished. Memorization of the book was even required for getting a driver's license. Niyazov told his people that as a result of a pact made between him and Allah, anybody who read his book three times would automatically go to heaven. This is as good a time as any to mention that Niyazov was illiterate. Anyone who believed that they would go to heaven for reading his book three times was just as nutty as he was. Then in 2005, (get ready for it) Niyazov launched a copy of it into space for the aliens to read. Would they go to heaven if they read it three times? Did he think about the possibility that his so-called aliens would need an interpreter?

 

And finally, (now you really do have to get ready for this one) this idiot decided to cement his legacy of complete lunacy, by ordering that an ice palace be built in Asgabat, the capital of Turkmenistan. Now as you know, Turkmenistan is a desert country and the average temperature in that city is 16.3 °C (61 °F) which is well above freezing.  

 

His term of ‘President for Life’ ended in 2006 of a heart attack. He previously managed to escape a number of assassination attempts.  There is speculation that his heart attack was prompted by another attempt that succeeded.                   

 

We in the Westernized countries should be grateful that our leaders aren’t a nutty as these two fruitcakes were. Oh my. Have I misjudged our leaders?