I met my wife purely by fate

In 1975, I was 41 years of age and alone and living in Toronto, a city of almost a million people and still, I hadn’t found a woman that I wanted to marry. Perhaps it was because my expectations were too high. I met many women who had at least four of the attributes I was looking for in a mate but either they were too young, too old or were already going out with other men. Alas, all that seemed to be left for me were women who had only two of these attributes which was probably why they too, were alone.

I went out of my way to find my dream girl. I joined church groups, went to parties, even bars but I was unsuccessful in finding a woman I wanted to marry.

When I say that I was alone, I don’t mean that I didn’t have friends. In fact, I had women at different times living with me in my rented one-bedroom apartment in 1975 but sharing an apartment and even sharing my bed with them doesn’t mean that I was not alone. Some would say that living with women who are willing to share one’s bed is paradise but one can still be lonely in paradise even if one’s needs are fulfilled. I knew that love is truly nature’s treasure but I wasn’t getting any of that treasure at all.

Many couples meet most unexpectedly and from their meetings, love develops----sometime gradually and sometimes, almost instantly.

As fate would have it, finally after many years of searching for the woman I truly wanted to marry, I found her.

I had been invited by the United Nations to speak at the Fifth United Nations Congress on the Prevention of Crime and the Treatment of Offenders being held in September of that year at the U.N. headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland.

One of my speeches dealt with my concern that Japanese Red Army terrorists in which some of them were women; had very close ties to the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, another terrorist group.

After I finished my speech and had a meeting with the Palestinian observer to the UN, I was approached by a member of the UN security staff who suggested that I be careful and don’t pick up any Japanese women while traveling around Europe as she might just be a Japanese Red Army terrorist. I laughed and told him that I had no intentions of picking up any Japanese women.

Being a mountain climber, I wanted to climb up some of the mountains in Switzerland while I was there but first, I wanted to go partway up Mount Blanc, the highest mountain in Europe. To get there, I had to take a bus to the town of Chamonix in France. As fate would have it, I missed the bus by two minutes but was advised that there was a train leaving in twenty minutes for the same town. I ran to the train station and after buying my return tickets, I was standing in an area where the main platform began. I was confused. There were many platforms extruding from the main one with trains on each of them however, I had no idea which train I was to catch. Seconds later, I saw a train conductor heading towards me and I asked him how I could get to Chamonix. He told me and I got on the right train.

At the other end of the car, was sitting a young Japanese woman. I didn’t think much about it considering that there are a great many Japanese tourists in Europe and elsewhere. When our train reached the border of France, a short distance away, it stopped so that the passengers going to Chamonix could catch a French train.

I got out of the train and went into the train station to use its washroom. The washroom was very small as was the train station but when I left the washroom, I noticed the Japanese girl looking at me as if she was waiting for me. I thought that strange considering that I had been the only person in the washroom. I thought to myself, “If she is following me, I will wander around the station and see if she follows me.” Wherever I went, she followed me. I was a bit worried at this time.

When the train arrived, I went into the first car. The Japanese girl also went into the first car. I decided that if I go into another car and she follows me, I have a real problem. I got out of my seat and left the car, walked along the station platform and climbed into the second car. She followed me into the second car. I left it and went into the third car. She did the same thing. Now I was really worried. This time, she didn’t sit at the other end of the car; she sat right across the aisle from me.

Being a criminologist, I was aware of various aspects of victimology and knew that if a victim is attacked, strangers will merely watch but acquaintances will do something to help the victim. There were two young women sitting across from me (European seats in trains face each other) so I began telling them funny jokes. Now we would be acquaintances.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye, this Japanese woman laughing at my jokes and two thoughts immediately came to my mind. The first was that she understood English. The second was that anyone who laughs at my jokes is probably a very good person.

I leaned towards her and asked, “Do you speak English?” She replied, “Yes, I do.” I asked, “Do you like my jokes?” She replied, “They are very funny.” I invited her to sit next to me and she consented and I told the three women more jokes.

By now, I felt quite at ease with this young Japanese woman (she was 24 at that time). Our train arrived in Chamonix, my new Japanese friend and I went to the traveler’s help kiosk to get them to find rooms in a hotel for us. All that was available was a pension (large house coverted into a hotel) and when we got there, the woman operating it said that all they had left was a room with two beds. We agreed to take it. That evening, I took my new friend to dinner and we watched a band perform in the main square. Then we went back to our room. I won’t describe what took place that night other than to say that we both slept in one bed.

The next day we went partway up Mount Blanc and the following day we returned to Geneva.

Within days, I knew that I had found my mate. She had to return to London (where she had been a governess for a year) and then she was going to fly back to Japan after she completed her tour of Europe. I asked her to consider coming with me to Canada. She said she would think about and would send me a telegram.

After a week of climbing in Switzerland, I returned to my hotel in Geneva. Her telegram was waiting for me. In her telegram she wrote;

MY FAMILY HAS ORDERED ME TO RETURN TO JAPAN. IF I DON’T, THEY WILL DISOWN ME. I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE DICTATES OF MY MIND AND THE DICTATES OF MY HEART AND MY HEART HAS WON AND I HAVE CHOSEN TO GO TO CANADA WITH YOU.

I was so excited; I showed the telegram to as many people willing to look at it. The next day, I flew to London. Now anyone that has traveled by air to London knows that there is an airline terminal right in the centre of London and that was where I was to meet her. Unfortunately, I told her to meet me at the Budget Rent-a-car kiosk which I learned later, wasn’t there any longer.

As my bus moved along side of the terminal, I looked out of the window and saw the Japanese woman with two friends standing in the crowed terminal as if looking for me. There were three buses ahead of mine and I figured that by the time they were unloaded, she would think I wasn’t coming and would give up looking for me and I would never see her again. I told the bus driver of my dilemma and he immediately opened the door, retrieved my luggage and then I ran into the building calling out her name, “Ayako!” She saw me, threw up her hands in joy and began running towards me.

The next day, we flew to Toronto. When we got there, we were processed at Immigration. Suddenly, she was asked to follow an immigration officer into a small room. I wasn’t permitted to accompany her.

After ten minutes elapsed and she hadn’t exited the small room, I became very worried. I thought she had been put on a plane to return to Europe.

I phoned the Solicitor General of Canada in Ottawa (who was the head of the Canadian delegation when I gave my speech) and told him of my concern. He got the Minister of Immigration on the phone and just as I was about to speak to him, Ayako came out of the room with her luggage in her hands yelling, “I’m in! I’m in!”

When she got to where I was standing at the phone, I said to the minister, “They have let her in. She is now standing beside me.”

He asked, “Why was she so long in the interview room?” Ayako told me and I told him. When we were on the plane, she began folding paper in which the art of folding paper is called Origami. She made flowers and birds while we were on the plane. When she was in the Immigration interview room, she was asked to open one of her suitcases and it was then that they saw the many paper flowers and birds. For the next twenty minutes, at their request, she showed them how to do it. The minister just laughed and laughed.

She was given a six-week visitor's visa which was later extended to six months. On May 29, 1976, we were married and the next day she was given permission to remain in Canada as a landed immigrant. Three years later, she became a Canadian citizen.

We have two daughters and four grandchildren. We are still happily married and have our own home as do our two daughters.

You are wondering why she was following me on the train. I wondered that also so one day I asked her. “Was it because of my good looks?” She just smiled. “Was it because of my good figure?” She laughed this time. “Then,” I asked, “why were you following me?

She smiled again and replied, “You remember when you were at the train station in Geneva and a train conductor approached you and you asked him how to get to Chamonix?”
“I remember.”

“Well, as you know, I too wanted to go to Chamonix and like you, I didn’t know what train to catch either however, I heard you ask the question, but I didn’t hear the conductor's answer but I knew you did. I thought to myself that since you knew how to get to Chamonix, I would simply follow you wherever you went until we got to Chamonix.”

My mother kept telling me, “Be patient my son. Someday when you least expect it, your mate will come along and like driftwood at sea, you will both eventually meet.” I was alone for a long time before my mate came along. As driftwood, we eventually met on a train.

Fate leads the willing and I was more than willing. Fate smiles at possibilities but it laughs at probabilities. In our case, it just laughed and laughed.