Women who lied about having taken the pill                                                        

Whether lying about having taken the pill is to bind a sex partner to them indefinitely, to destroy a person, to derive extra pleasure, or out of a desperate desire for a baby, some women will deliberately mislead their sexual partners into believing that they are using contraceptives. And while some sex partners never find out, others are left with children that they have to support for many years as a direct result of the lies given to them by dishonest women.

Deception isn’t a defence for refusing to pay support for the unexpected baby.  I will refer you to a Supreme Court of Canada case in which this issue was discussed. The case was titled R. v. Hutchinson I will paraphrase what was said by the judges.

A woman agreed to sexual activity with her partner whose name is Hutchinson. He told the woman that he insisted that he use a condom in order to prevent conception.  Unknown to her, he had poked holes in the condom and the complainant subsequently became pregnant with his child.

Where a female sexual partner has chosen  not  to become pregnant, a deception that expose her to an increased risk of becoming pregnant may sufficiently constitute  a  serious deprivation to a legitimate  consent. Without voluntary agreement as to the how the sex act is to be performed, then the manner in which the sexual activity in question occurred, there was no consent to participating in the sexual act.

The principle of how the sex act is to be performed as stated above would also apply when a woman lies to her sexual partner  when she states that she has taken the pill when in fact she hasn’t taken the pill. All individuals must have an equal right to determine how they are touched, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, reproductive capacity, or the type of sexual activity they choose to engage in.  By any definition, when someone uses a condom, it is part of the sexual activity.  It is therefore part of what is or is not consented to.  When individuals agree to sexual activity with a condom, they mean an intact condom.  They are not merely agreeing to a sexual activity, they are agreeing to how it should take place. unquote

It follows that if a woman tells her partner (who doesn’t wish to father a baby) that she has taken the pill to prevent conception when in fact she hasn’t taken the pill, then her partner hasn’t consented to the sex act that he was promised and as such, the sex act with the woman wasn’t with his consent.   For that reason, he shouldn’t be liable for the support of her child unless of course they are married. Accidental births would then make both liable for the support of their child.

Here is what one man said after being tricked into believing his girlfriend when she said she was on the pill when  in fact, she did not take the pill.

My ex tried to pull that shit on me. She told me she was on birth control so we had nothing to worry about in terms of protection. Couple of months later she's pregnant. I suspected she was lying so I confronted her about it but she said it was the doctor's fault for prescribing her the wrong birth control pills. Three and a half months later she had a really bad miscarriage and had to be hospitalized. When i visited her in the hospital I found out she lied and was never on birth control to begin with, she was just trying to trap me with the baby. There's a reason she's my ex-girlfriend.

Now if a baby had actually been born, would he have to pay the woman support for her baby?

In his case, he would not because he obviously would not have consented to having sex with her if she told him a lie when she said she had taken the pill. Her deception would have meant that he did not give her a viable consent to having sex with her when she lied to him.  

Suppose she told the truth when she said that she had taken the birth control pill but the pill was defective (and some have been) and she became pregnant, would he have to pay her child support?

In my opinion, he still wouldn’t have to pay her child support because his condition in having sex with her was that he would have sex with her only if she took the pill. Both of their beliefs were honest and valid. She would have a valid claim against the manufacturer of the pill and the child support would then be paid by the manufacturer in a lump sum.  

Court documents show that a Toronto couple (who can only be identified as PP and DD) had a fling that lasted less than two months in 2014. They had unprotected sex on several occasions after DD allegedly told PP that she was taking birth control an allegation not tested in court leading him to believe she had no plans to have a baby. He claimed DD's deception over her claiming that she had taken the pill had deprived him of the benefit of choosing when and with whom he would become a dad.

The budding physician who unwillingly became a father after having sex with the woman had no grounds to sue the woman for emotional harm even if she allegedly lied about being on the pill, Ontario's top court ruled.

In upholding an earlier ruling on the case, the Ontario Court of Appeal said that the woman's alleged behaviour was not enough to open her up to the man's highly unusual claim for damages.

Justice Paul Rouleau wrote for the court. "I see no basis on which to impose liability on the mother for any negative impact the man may consider that he has suffered due to his having fathered the child. Allowing the father to recover damages from the mother for the unwanted birth would run counter to a clear trend in family law to move away from faulting one partner over another.”

PP had said in his statement of claim that he wanted to meet a woman, fall in love, get married, enjoy his life as husband with his wife and then, when he and his wife thought the time was `right,' to have a baby.

I believe that he initially really wanted to marry the woman and have a baby with her but when the baby came nine months after they had participated in that particular sex act, he changed his mind when he then became aware that she had lied to him about having taken the birth control pill.

The judge had ruled that fraudulent misrepresentation could only give rise to a claim for financial damages and not for emotional distress. He also decided any emotional harm PP suffered did not amount to a personal injury.       

The judge did recognize that if DD had lied about taking the pill, it would have undermined PP's consent to their sexual activity thereby potentially making him the victim of a civil sexual assault. However, the judge concluded PP's complaint was not the sex act that took place between PP and DD, but the unplanned parenthood.

However, in my opinion, if he ended up leaving the women before they were scheduled to be married and he chose to keep the baby for himself, he could sue her for child support. On the other hand, if they were never married at all, and she kept the baby for herself and claimed child support from him, I don’t think he would have to pay her the child support she demanded from him since she lied to him with respect to the pill so that she could have a baby and have the reluctant father pay her money in the form of child support. But in this particular case, he wouldn’t  have to pay her child support since she could be liable for damages he would claim against her.

However, if she really did take the pill and told him so but it was defective, then as the court later said, PP accepted the small pregnancy risk that exists when a woman takes the pill and has unprotected sex. Both of them could then sue the manufacturer because of the defective pill.

Many women have actually confessed as to why they chose NOT to share with their sexual partner that they were NOT on the pill. Why? It was their desire to have a baby to securing an 18-year pay cheque from the unsuspecting man.

A man and a woman should be truthful to each other, especially when it comes to having premarital sex. My wife and I had premarital sex before we were married because she took the birth control pills. When we both agreed to get married, she stopped taking the pills and we had a daughter. Before our first daughter was born, my wife asked me if I was happy that we were going to have a child. I told her that I was very pleased. We have been married 41 years and our daughter is 41 years of age and she has a daughter of her own who is in her late teens.