CAN A WOMAN RAPE A MAN?                                                           

If you click your mouse on the underlined words, you will get more information.

Although getting sexually abused by women may be some men’s fantasy, but more importantly, the question is; is it legally called a rape? 

The existing legal definition of rape in England and Wales (and most other countries) is gendered, by only recognizing men as offenders. The law also recognizes as victims of rape those who are penetrated by a penis, either vaginally, anally or orally be they females. This therefore excludes the female perpetrator when a male is the victim and more specifically those cases where male victims are ‘forced to penetrate’ female perpetrators.

This issue needs to be given to legally recognizing and thus labelling it as forced-to-penetrate cases as rape. Applying a methodology that draws upon the actual lived experiences of male victims, it is argued that there are significant similarities between compelled-penetration cases and those cases legally recognized as rape, not only because they both involve non-consensual penile penetration, but because there are clear similarities in the aggressive strategies used by perpetrators and the subsequent harms experienced by their victims..

This could be a real legal problem to the male victim if in the process of being raped, he ejaculates and leaves evidence that he had sex with the woman albeit without his consent. She could blackmail him if she preserves the man’s semen.  

Here is an incident which occurred. The man’s name “John” is not his real name.

John woke up to find that his female partner had handcuffed his right arm to the metal bed frame. Then she started hitting him on the head with a loudspeaker from the stereo system beside the bed, then she tied up his other arm with some nylon rope and tried to force him to have sex with her.         

Scared and in pain, John was unable to comply with her demands  so she beat him again and left him chained up for half an hour, before returning and freeing him. Afterwards she refused to talk about what had really happened to him.

Not long after that, she became pregnant, and the violence abated. But a few months after the baby was born, John again woke one night to discover that he was being handcuffed to the bed.           

Then, he said that his partner had force-fed him Viagra and then gagged him. He added, “There was nothing I could do about it.

He also said, "Later I went and sat in the shower for I dunno how long but I eventually went downstairs. The first thing she said to me when I went into the room was, 'What's for dinner?'"

I am forced to ask this rhetorical question. “What is wrong with this man?         Is he a mouse living with a raging tiger” Why doesn’t he leave her?” In my opinion, this mouse is a glutton for punishment.

When John had tried to tell people about it, he says he was often met with disbelief.  He said, "I've been asked why I didn't leave the house. Well, it was my house that I had bought for my kids so I was so locked into the relationship with the woman financially.  I still get disbelief because it's like, '’Well why didn't you hit her back?' I get that quite a lot. Well that's a lot easier said than done. "I wish I'd run away a lot sooner."

Running from the home is not the answer. Contacting the police was what he should have done. Even if the police had doubts, the children probably were aware as to what was happening and they could have verified his story unless they were only babies at the time of the sexual assaults.

The abuse Aspects of John's story are repeated in the experiences of some of the other men. When Dr. Weare (a psychologist) was interviewed, she said that one of her findings was that the perpetrator in "forced-to-penetrate" (FTP) cases is often a female partner or ex-partner (her research focuses only on forced penetration involving men and women), and that the experience is frequently one element in a wider pattern of domestic abuse.

"You must have enjoyed it or you'd have reported it sooner," one man says he was told by a police officer. That statement by the police officer would be asinine if he said the same thing to a female victim.  A victim of a rape would hardly be sexually excited when raped.

Another participant in Dr. Weare’s’ interview with the male victims said, "We're scared to talk about it and embarrassed and when we do talk about it, we're not believed, because we're men. How can a man possibly be abused? Look at him, he's a man." That question is obviously a fallacy.

Dr. Weare's other findings include that men are often ashamed to report FTP experiences however, they may report domestic abuse without mentioning the sexual abuse.

The mental health impact can be severe, including PTSD, thoughts of suicide and sexual dysfunction. Some men report being repeatedly victimised and some experienced childhood sexual abuse, some had endured varying types of sexual violence from different perpetrators, including men. Many of them had overwhelmingly negative perceptions of the police, criminal justice system, and the law.

One myth Weare's research dispels is that forced penetration is impossible because men are physically stronger than women. Another myth is that men view all sexual opportunities as being positive with women even if the women rape them.

Men are often too ashamed to report FTP experiences and this goes for boys who have been anal raped by men. I speak as an authority on this subject.

When I was a student at the University of Toronto, I attended criminal law classes for two years and an abnormal psychology class for one year and I practiced criminal law in courts for fifteen years. I was also a group counsellor for five years in a prison setting and many of the men I spoke to had difficulty in explaining how they had been sexually abused by men. That was because they were too embarrassed to discuss the rapes in front of others.  

When I was eleven years old, my father anal raped me twice when my mother was out of town. I never told her what he did to me. The following year, when I was living in a group home, the man who ran it anal raped all four of us boys and when we were taken out of the home and interviewed by a psychiatrist, I was too ashamed to admit that these two men had anal raped me. However when I was thirteen years old living on a farm with three other boys, a young man in his twenties grabbed my crotch and I reported it to my teacher. However, the man didn’t hang around the farm after that so he wasn’t caught and arrested.

Some men report being repeatedly victimised and some experienced childhood sexual abuse and some had endured varying types of sexual violence from different perpetrators, including men.

A third myth is that if men have an erection, then they must want sex. In fact, Dr. Weare says that "an erection is purely a physiological response to stimulus. Men can obtain and sustain an erection even if they're scared, angry, terrified.”

Quite frankly I find that hard to believe. I certainly wasn’t getting an erection when I was anal raped especially when I was suffering pain.  I was angry and you can’t get an erection when you are scared, in pain and angry.

In the U.S. Military, annually, more men are being raped by men than women were being raped by men. In 2012, nearly 14,000 active military men were sexually assaulted by men, along with over 12,000 women suffering from the same sexual assaults. 

Now this could be caused by aggressive bullies who want to shame fellow soldiers but I have to presume that the rapists did it because it gave them a feeling of power over their victims. This is common in male prisons. It seems redundant and even cliché to point out that male rape is rarely about sex and is rarely done by brutes though homosexual guys are of the primary targets in prison, a dynamic that, when translated into mainstream society and our military, seems to affect the perception of the survivor  keeping him close-mouthed. That is because it is too embasssing to tell anyone that he was anal raped.

However I have to state that there are a great many men who like being sexually subservient to women when they are sexually abused by them. Those men can be sexually aroused just as men who permit women to spank them.

There's also research that shows women can respond sexually when they are raped (e.g. have an orgasm) because their body is responding physiologically. This is an issue for both male and female victims which is not discussed enough, but there is clear evidence in that aspect."

A number of the participants in Weare's 2017 study reported that the subjects got FTP experiences after getting extremely drunk or high, and being unable to stop what was happening to them.

Another man described being coerced into sex while working at a holiday camp one summer while he was a student. A female co-worker had discovered a letter he had written to a boyfriend, and threatened to out him as gay unless he slept with her.

She thought that if he had sex with a woman "this would transform my life and I would be straight", he says. As he had not come out to his friends, family or co-workers. he felt that he had no choice but to comply.

Dr. Weare says that most of the participants in his latest study regarded their forced-to-penetrate experiences as "rape", and some were frustrated that it would not count as rape under the law of England and Wales. There was frustration also that British society would most likely not recognize it as rape.

"Talking about the fact that your ex-partner used to get drunk and force herself on you, rape you essentially, it's like most blokes' fantasy isn't it?" said one of the participants.

There It seems redundant and even cliché to point out that male rape is rarely about sex and is rarely done by homosexuals though homosexual guys are of the primary targets in prison, a dynamic that, when translated into mainstream society and our military, seems to affect the perception of the survivor by being close-mouthed.

There have been many cases where female teachers in Canada have had sex with male teenage students but they are convicted of sexual abuse and not of rape even if they forced the teenage boy to have sex with them.

In Canada, section 271 of the Canadian Criminal Code states the following;

Everyone who commits a sexual assault is guilty of an indictable offence and is liable to imprisonment for a term of not more than 10 years.

Years ago, the Canadian parliament removed he word rape from the Criminal Code and replaced it with sexual assault. The reason for this change was that the word, sexual assault covers every aspects of the sexual crimes whereas the word raped did not.   

I hope that you have fond this article informative.